Common Thoughts of Discomfort

The thoughts that keep us up at night.

Common humanity refers to an aspect of self-compassion that shows us that suffering is part of the shared experience of being human. Many people walk into the therapist's office thinking there must be something quite uniquely wrong with them or the way they think, only to later realize they are not the only ones and neither unique nor wrong.

A good meme is the perfect example that stands tribute to our common humanity; using a single picture, people come up with novel ways to communicate ordinary/quirky thoughts and experiences that other people from all across the world can relate with. The humour in a good meme is sometimes merely the pleasant surprise of realizing that someone else has thought or felt the same way you have. That we suffer is human, and that we can laugh at our suffering collectively is also very human - this is common humanity.

Another thing humans share is the instinct to avoid discomfort. Consider any embarrassing moment, or that scratchy feeling in your throat that you can't cough away, or the awkward lull in a conversation where you have nothing left to say. Everyone wants to gloss over it, sweep it under the rug and run far far away. But what causes us discomfort tells us a whole lot about what we're going through. Inner transparency about our thoughts and feelings is crucial for self-awareness, but so is the perspective that allows you to see yourself in relation to others.

There is nothing quite like complete transparency to take a step towards removing the fear and avoidance out of discomfort, so here is a list of common themes, thoughts and questions that make people uncomfortable to think about:

• Things I said or did in the past that I wish I could take back

• Am I busy doing something meaningful or am I just busy?

• Misunderstandings.

• Are my friends doing better than me?

• Are people really as happy as they look on <insert social media>?

• What does <insert person's name> think of me?

• My body: will it ever look how I want it to look?

• Is there something wrong with me? Am I normal?

• I have no idea what I'm doing with my life.

• How long do I have to keep waiting?

• Will I ever be happy?

If any or many of these are thoughts that have crossed your own mind at some point or another, do not worry: You are not alone. How to deal with these uncomfortable feelings is for another post, but for today, it's just about opening them up to your own awareness and knowing you're not completely on your own.